In High School I began telling people that my dream job would be taking over for David Letterman.
Yesterday the announcement came that he was officially retiring and thoughts of my old goal bubbled up. Sometimes it's hard to know what one actually wants NOW as so often I feel we are living out a desire that we once had in the past. We set out to do something, time passes and we eventually accomplish said goal. We enjoy the swelling sense of accomplishment and say, "I did it!"
And then it's over and we're left again to ruminate on the human condition, whether or not it's even real, and as we think, again we ask ourselves, "What do I want to do now?"
What a luxury to spend our time so sure that our resources are locked down, that we can just spend our "time" thinking about what we want to do. Groceries are in the fridge, water comes magically flowing out of many locations in my small apartment. I'm comfortably sheltered. So, NOW what do I want to do. Something fun. I want to have fun. Have a good time!
As I get older, the play is only truly valued if I have worked to earn it. When I know I have something I should be working on, its harder for me to enjoy play. This isn't just tasks, but areas of my life which I want to improve. When I'm not addressing those things, it no longer makes sense to go out and have a blast because, I know that whatever I'm doing, I'm still not doing the thing that is nagging at me. In addition, I enjoy working more than ever. I am working on projects that are fulfilling and empowering...
The David Letterman gig. Let's say I have the opportunity to take over the show...would I want to do it? When I texted my dad he playfully suggested that I "send in my reel," though I know he is actually serious.
As I think on it NOW, I don't think that is my current desire. Perhaps in the same neighborhood, but I've since become addicted to making visions become reality with my best friends.
I would only want to take on the role if I could make the show a collaboration with my creative genius friends. THAT is my goal NOW: to build a creative production house along the lines of Warhol's Factory that has relationships with sustainable businesses. Creating multimedia, TV Shows, Films and Live Events that are sponsored by the companies that are trying to do it better. Basically, I'm trying to make an honest living.
In my mind's eye I am working with these brilliant minds around me to create elaborate dance pieces that are a spectacle of light moving through space, all at once visually stunning and deliciously overwhelming, then suddenly silly. As people are sucked into another dimension, Pull out the plug! Reveal the vulnerable truth that we have no fucking clue what we're doing, and then zoom out! We're on a space rock! Still! And that makes it funny...we've spent our time and effort and labor making this thing, this absurd, magical thing and we're fucking hurtling through space right now on a planet that by the grace of IT has not been struck by an asteroid in recent history, allowing us to exist so that we can...create this weird, silly, playful thing! Now THAT is a fucking laugh!
I don't think this is what CBS is envisioning for the future of their Late Night programming. And I'm sure someone else will be excited to take over a job that pays well, with huge exposure and tells nightly light-hearted socio-political jokes.
I'd rather play out here on the edge of infinity. It's more fun.