These birthdays are coming faster and faster. It's like the laps around the sun are getting shorter, though I'm as sure as I can be that they're not. (at this point I'm not too sure about anything)
Today I've been fortunate to receive loving words from many of my favorite humans...it has made me feel quite loved and appreciated.
Though the thought dawned on me as each message came in, "I ought to be thanking this person for making my life worth living."
It seems silly that on a birthday I should sit and collect affirmations and love from the very people I am lucky to know. In addition, if there are any qualities that you enjoy about me, they are certainly stolen. I happen to know humans that I consider to be the greatest on planet earth. (I may not know all of us humans, but I feel strongly that I am in an exceptional community.) And it is from these people, whom I have admired, that I have adopted the traits I appreciate, sometimes consciously, sometimes not.
I am quite literally the result of hours and hours spent with all of you. You have shaped and molded me, taught me what love, friendship and play feels like. I have learned what honor and discipline look like, and am in the process of finding those qualities for myself so I can be more like you. That I might in some way repay your kindness.
A human will, if they are lucky, at some point come to that splendid and heartbreaking question, 'To be, or not to be?' And as I've thought on this in my life...I cannot help but desire more time and space with these wonderful people I call friends. I am compelled to be with you, to create with you. There are hundreds, thousands of ideas for projects that I want to make with you, because you are magic people. And because making things is magic. And so, you all are the reason I desire to keep living, so that I can learn with you and play and laugh at the great cosmic joke of it all, with you. In fact, you're all so wonderful that you make the challenges, pain, hurt and struggle all worth it...
I am passionately curious to learn more about existence and what may be possible for us beings.
That I have made it around the sun again is a testament to the countless people who have contributed to my life. My parents who sacrificed so much to give me an abundant life full of opportunity, and my many teachers who invested energy and time and care in me...Every friend I've ever had...And as I've realized recently how absurd it is to say that "I" have done anything...the infinite number of animals and creatures and evolution of life that has led to consciousness somehow taking form in this body, which is "me."
I have done nothing alone, and I would be foolish to ever claim such a thing. IF I have ever done anything, it has been with the help of you. Thanks for inspiring me to live, to be a better version of myself today than I was yesterday. You people make me want to take laps around this Earth until it is thrashed by an asteroid or burned by the sun. Whichever comes first.
With thanks and love I am humbly yours,